We ended Part 1 with two questions:
If self-love is so crucial to building a healthy self-esteem and helping us to be
happy, what prevents more of us from deepening our self-love?
What keeps so many of us stuck in painful, hurtful, sad scenes where happiness is
merely a passing dream?
How come so many well-intentioned people are reluctant to engage in regular self-
esteem building activities and instead continue with self-destructive behavior?
We all want to be loved and to feel love. Yet, there are important Blocks to Self-
Love that must be looked at and examined if we wish to deepen our self-love,
experience self-esteem improvement, and to succeed in life.
Blocks to Self-Love
People don’t love themselves because they feel guilty and unworthy. Guilt
is one of the biggest and most severe destroyers of self-esteem. Until you learn to
let go of guilt as quickly as you would a hot potato, guilt will anchor you in pain and
misery.
Feeling unworthy means you place little value on yourself. You do not honor
yourself as a beautiful, unique child of a Loving Creator. Your self-esteem is
almost non-existent. Hopefully by the end of this article, you’ll see new possibilities
to feel good about who you are.
People don’t love themselves because they live with outdated values. Values that
belong to teachers, parents, and other authorities who helped to raise us.
These values may no longer serve us. You must question these if you want your
self-esteem to skyrocket.
People don’t love themselves because they are couch potatos and watch too much
TV. It has been estimated that the average American watches close to four
hours of TV daily. Think about where your self-image comes from when you
watch that much TV.
Is your self-image yours or does it belong to the mass media?
People don’t love themselves because they have unhealthy habits, such as not
exercising enough. (This goes along with being wed to your couch).
Exercise, such as walking, gets your blood moving and changes your angle of vision,
if you get your heart pounding fast enough. A lot of people actually feel
great after exercising and the affects are accumulative.
People don’t love themselves because they numb themselves with drugs, alcohol,
food, sex, gambling, online pornography, and a host of other addictions that show
the need for help with self.
People don’t love themselves because they feel helpless and hopeless. They sense
their life is going nowhere fast, and their self-talk is consistently negative.
They never even think of getting help from a qualified health professional, because
their feelings of shame make them feel so worthless they often have given up.
(Obviously that’s not you, else you wouldn’t be reading an article written by a
personal development coach).
Can you see how impossible it is to create a successful business, relationship,
anything meaningful when you’re full of doom and gloom? You can’t fool
your customers, employees, dating partners, or friends.
People don’t love themselves because they want instant gratification too often.
Usually, we become impatient and want everything yesterday. In
business, for example, we must have the patience to wait for our actions
to pay off.
Instant gratification is what babies and young people demand. As adults, we have to
clear out the emotional wounds that keep us prisoners of our past.
People don’t love themselves because they pay attention to and believe old tapes
running in their minds. This goes along with what I wrote above about living with
outdated values.
Until you attend enough self-help seminars, or read sufficient self-help books, or
work with a personal development or life coach who helps you to eliminate old
emotional wounds, what you were told by your parents when growing up
may be still running your life.
Our parents loved us. But their values and their beliefs may no longer
serve us. You choose what to bring along with you from your
upbringing.
Discard what no longer serves you.
People don’t love themselves because they lack support from family or friends and/
or never learned how. Lots of us confuse the definition of self-esteem and believe
we’re being selfish if we love ourselves. Hogwash!
People don’t love themselves because they have low self-worth and an impoverished
self-image. This can be a whole article in itself. I’m repeating this because self-
worth is such an important consideration.
Feelings of shame and not being worthy destroy our spirit and make it impossible to
succeed in any area of life, especially business and relationships.
People don’t love themselves because they have lots of fears. When fear rules your
life, it’s impossible to be happy. Fear destroys joy, increases stress, and is the
leading cause of failure, in my opinion.
People don’t love themselves because they are unaware of how to love themselves.
Well, that’s why you’re here to get an inkling of the importance of self-love and how
to begin self-love, the foundation for any self-esteem building activity or deepening
self-esteem improvement.
People don’t love themselves because they won’t commit to their own
success. Lots of people unconsciously think they are failures. I know from
personal experience about this. It cost me literally millions of dollars in
potential business profits.
Half of my business was stolen from me. Because I had such a low self-esteem, such
a poor self-image, and no self-worth, I did nothing about it. I allowed my
business to vanish into thin air. That was in 1982.
In 2004, I attended a workshop in Utah. I learned that I had an unconscious
Psychological Reversal to making money. Every time I got close to being
financially successful, I’d do something to sabotage it.
For the past two years I’ve been using an Energy Psychology technique to transform
and clear out the limiting, subconscious beliefs that have kept me from running and
operating as successful a business as I could.
In Part 3 of Self-Love Skyrockets Self-Esteem I explain the
Benefits you receive when you deepen self-love. As someone said,
everything begins with self-love.
I might add, all your successes in life depend upon your loving yourself
enough to commit to your own success and to follow through.
Part 3 makes it exceptionally clear the role self-love plays in operating a
successful life. See you soon.
Harvey Rosenberg is an inspirational Personal Development Coach at your
service with a compassionate heart, trustworthy smile and a toolbox of cutting
edge techniques.
He has transformed himself from being the king of self-destruction his
first 39 years, to the prince of recovery for 16 years, and presently the
apprentice of joy for the last 6 years.
He recently authored a highly acclaimed self-esteem improvement, self-help book
HeartMinders: Spiritual Lightposts Reminding Your Heart to Love.
Visit his web site Writing for Self-Esteem to discover how to accelerate your
personal development growth. Transform symptoms of low self-esteem and
feel better about your life. Results are guaranteed.
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